Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life – and to anyone they meet.

         – Steve Bressert, Ph.D., Author at PsychCentral

We may find that the narcissist’s near-complete oblivion to most things not on their VIR (Very Important Radar), renders information which attempts to tell them how to change or that they may not be considering other’s feelings, not terribly important.

So narcissists are not usually the ones trying to find out how to change themselves for the good of mankind, or even their significant others, co-workers or friends.

A narcissist would probably not be seeking ways that they may learn to bend to the will of others. A narcissist might not really want to or even have to hear any of it.

However, time marches on and the need to interact on a global scale and within many different protocols, cultural frameworks, etc., has come to the forefront as an area in which humans must learn on behalf not only of themselves, but often of their business or employer.

The world we live in today requires us to be able to understand the feelings of others in order not just to have a pleasant experience with them, but to negotiate, facilitate and actualize large-scale business transactions, and assist with international dealings where sometimes language differences take a back seat to what non-verbal cues we can glean with our other senses.

How are we treated? Did they smile at us? Did they make us feel welcome? These things are the better part of communication when the most often used method of verbal communication is not available.

I suggest to you that if you are a self-proclaimed narcissist (no blame or hating, promise), that you may be here, reading this blog as a result of some program you’re undertaking to learn to be empathic for your work, or because someone in your life who is important to you has asked you (or issued an ultimatum) to change.

If this is you, first of all, thank you for opening up your mind to the possibility that your lack of empathy may be playing a part in the less than favorable outcomes within your personal or professional life.

Secondly, I want to tell you that this book’s purpose is not to tell you that it’s all your fault! In fact, it is possible that at least some of the problems could be coming from those in your life who could possibly be considered ‘the good guy, or nice girl’.

Yes, that’s right, you may be able to go back and tell them that it’s at least partially their own fault.

Hopefully, however, you won’t allow that overly narcissistic side of yourself to take advantage of the situation.

Sometimes it’s just best to smile to oneself, the knowledge of the thing its own reward.

A man with style is a man who can smile

David Mamet, House of Games

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