“Empaths did not come into this world to be victims, we came to be warriors. Be brave. Stay strong. We need all hands on deck.”

         – Anthon St. Maarten, Author of Divine Living

Choose Balanced Empathy

Is your empathic lifestyle out of balance?

You’re responsible for balancing your empathy, no one else can do it for you.

It’s true that there are a wide variety of circumstances beyond our control that influence our empathic temperament. Everything from genetics, to upbringing, environment, and obligations can influence our empathy range one way or another. But it is incredibly important to remember that we as humans always have the free will to choose our own actions, regardless of how we are predisposed to feel or are influenced by our circumstances.

By making deliberate choices, that is, by considering our options and deciding to make a strategic choice regardless of our influences or predisposition, we can initiate deliberate change in the fashion we so desire.

Even just making small changes, one might even say “especially” making small changes can trigger a long-term chain reaction with much more profound results.

This is because choices, especially small ones which have the added benefit of being easier to make and maintain, once repeated, become a pattern. Once a pattern is established, following that pattern is quite a bit easier for us than making individual choices, and more of the choices we make will tend to follow that pattern. After we practice this pattern a few times, we get even better at it, and we like to do things that we’re good at, so this pattern becomes our routine.

After we repeat our routine a few times, we get so good at it that it becomes an unconscious habit. Since habits return almost automatically to us, we start making decisions in other areas of our life to accommodate those habits, and this becomes our lifestyle.

After living a certain lifestyle for an extended period of time, we come to identify ourselves with it, as do others, and this becomes our personality.

It’s not necessarily a quick fix or overnight success, but it is deliberate and achievable and profound.

Choices Become Patterns -> Routines -> Habits -> Lifestyle -> Personality

Here are a few more tips to keep in mind when actively attempting to balance your empathy.

Observe. Relate. Communicate

For High Understanding / Low Sharing (Narcissists):

– Utilize the Power of Perspective Taking
Practice daily, putting yourself in another’s shoes.
– Remember a time when you were in a similar situation.
– Imagine a loved one in that same situation.
– Imagine what they are feeling and try to feel it also.

For Low Understanding / High Sharing (Neurotics):

– Mentally or physically separate yourself, take a time out.
– Focus on your body sensations.
– Listen to the background noises.
– Utilize the Power of Perspective Taking.
– How would you advise a loved one in the same situation.

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